What's In a Name???

I have always believed words have power.  I have sticky notes all around my house posted to mirrors, doors, light switch plates, furniture, appliances, etc. reminding me, my child, and any visitors of such things like....

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. - my bathroom mirror
Only love today. - living room light switch plate cover
Best is good, but better is best. - hall closet door
I do not procrastinate. - washing machine
I am organized. - dinning room table (that doubles as my office table)
I am loved - her bathroom mirror
I am happy. - Her dresser drawer
I am smart. - Another dresser drawer
I am funny. - Another dresser drawer (she has a big dresser)
I control me and no one else. - back door (to remind me I can't even control my two lovable but oh so infuriating dogs)
Today is going to be a great day. - garage door
I am what I eat - just take a guess on that one

Because I believe words have power I recently edited the caller ID in my cell phone for some of those who call me most.  I figured I read my phone more often than I read anything else in this world so why not use it to make me calm, inspired, at peace, or even laugh almost every time I hear my ringtone!

Not everyone in my phone has a extra "tag line" but here are a few examples...

My brother used to just say - Jake Cell
Now it says - Don't Take It Personally Jake Cell

This is because my brother has quite possibly the worst phone etiquette of anyone on the planet.  He is always a little hateful when he answers and (while I know he is a busy man) he always seems to be hacked off that I called him regardless of the reason.  I used to get upset by this but now I know it is just him.  He talks to practically everyone like this.  I think even if Mother Teresa herself called to tell him he won the lottery she might get a "What do you want?"...followed by a "Well I don't have time for that right now...Call your father!  He isn't doing anything!"  And by father he does not mean the Pope. 

Speaking of fathers.

My dad's ID used to say - Dad Cell
Now it says - Patience...Just Breathe...Dad Cell

You see Dad is a lot like Jake.  (Hence why they get along so well...insert sarcastic tone here.)  Dad is usually a little short, always busy, always needing to answer another call, and can from time to time ask me to do things that not only frustrate me but in some cases are just not possible but he still expects to get it done...and do it now...because really I have nothing better to do (again insert sarcastic tone here).  For instance, one day Dad told me he did not like how the GPS on people's phone would direct them to our barns so Dad told me to call Google (like they have one phone line going in to some brick and mortar building in Ohio) and talk to whoever it was that did Google Maps (I am guessing his name is Bob...again insert...well you get the idea) and straighten out ol' Bob as to how to get people to Charlie, TX without sending them to Burkburnett!  Let me get right on that Dad.  To date I am still waiting on Bob to call me back.  But in reality I know my dad has had patience with me over the years.  Like when I was 4 or 6 years old...or 14 or 16...or 34 or well...yesterday when I had no clue what "red beans" were (pinto).  So I can have a little patience with him now that he is 64.  Just as he did for me when I babbled on as a baby, I will just nod and agree to whatever he says or asks.  To be honest I owe him at least that much for those teen years of mine. 

I have a certain guy on my phone (who will remain nameless) and his caller ID now just says - Don't Answer
No need to explain this one.  I will let you all use your imagination.  But I keep his number in there so I don't accidently pick up when he calls about once every three or four months. 

One of my very best friend's Caller ID now says - God Knew You Needed This
And boy did He ever know I needed that call or text!!!

My daughter's after school caregiver now says - What a Blessing
Because she and her family have been such a blessing to us in more ways than one and I thank God every time her name pops up.

I have a dear friend whom I adore but I know we are nothing more than friends. 
Before his name it says - Wrong Tree
As in don't go barking up the wrong tree because I would never want to lose him as a friend. 

My mom's says - Dotty's Favorite Memaw Cell
That is the whole truth and nothing but the truth right there.  None of us can compete with Memaw. 

Now even when I am stressed or worried or just have so much in my head I feel like it might burst some of these numbers appear and they remind me to take life a little less serious...appreciate the people I have in my life...stay away from those God has already shown me are not good for me...and just enjoy the moment, the conversation, the time...because who knows what tomorrow might bring. 

Words have power.  They can change your mind, your mood, and your facial makeup for sure.  I know this little trick won't solve the violence in the world but if it helps me to be a little kinder to those I talk to on a regular basis or if it reminds me to say a prayer of gratitude to God then perhaps my own world has become a little better for it. 

As a side note...both my stores say "Nuts About This Place"...but once in a while I change it to "I Must Be Nuts to Still Work Here"....hee hee hee!!! 

Laundry and Two AM Talks

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night...toss and turn...but just can't go back to sleep?  I do.  Between the hours of two and three AM tend to be my usual time where I find myself awake...exhausted...but still chasing sleep.

After a while I usually try watching some television, reading, or checking Facebook, but after about an hour of this I tend to get up and do laundry.  I don't know about all of you but at my house there is always laundry that needs to be done.  So with this always on my brain I swing out of bed and head to my washer and dryer. 

I usually pull the clothes out of the dryer (there are always clothes in my dryer) and start a new load going.  As I drop the basket at my feet and sit on the couch I begin folding clothes...and I talk to God. 

My first question is always "Ok.  I am up.  What do You need me to hear at this time of night?"

God gets my sarcasm.  He is also patient with my grumpiness at all times but especially in the middle of the night. 

Then I just fold in silence.

And I wait. 

And I listen. 

I let my mind begin to clear away the haze of sleep and I open up both it and my heart to what God has to say to me. 

Now I have never actually "heard" God speak to me like in a Morgan Freeman kind of voice but I have "heard" God talk to my soul...if that makes sense.  Some of my best talks with God happen in the middle of the night.  Some of my hardest talks have happened with God in the middle of the night.  Some of my soul shattering, soul cleansing, soul searching talks have happened with God as I folded socks and tshirts in the middle of the night.

I rarely go back to sleep on nights like this and I often look like a zombie the next morning due to not enough sleep.  While there may be dark circles under my eyes though my soul has brightened a little.  While I may be exhausted and tired all day, my mind is at peace and can rest easier now.  While I may yawn with a wide open mouth for most of the day, my heart is now wide open to experience all God has to offer me. 

I used to hate rolling over and checking the time on my phone just to see two-something AM lit up in bright numbers.  Now I don't hate it so much.  I give God the opening.  If He wants to chat me up for a while then two-something AM is as good a time as any.  However, if He doesn't really have much to say then I don't mind rolling back over and going to sleep too.  I just let the Big Guy make the call.

So if you see me today and I look a little tired or a little rough around the edges just know I am lacking sleep...but what I lost in sleep I gained in insight, wisdom and love from one of those two AM talks with God.  Give me some room to be grumpy today...after all I am no saint...I still need my sleep!!! 

Brighten a Room

I have heard it said...

Winners brighten a room by entering it.
Whiners brighten a room by leaving it.

Which way do you brighten a room? 
I know I probably do it both ways depending on the day and the situation, but I definitely hope I brighten it more when I enter than when I leave.

Social Media

Holy Hashtag!  Social media is a blessing and a curse.

In today's world, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and whatever else I am not cool enough to know about are the way in which many people communicate with friends, family, customers, business owners, celebrities, political nominees, and sometimes even the people who are sitting right beside them in the same room.  It truly is a necessary evil.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media.  I love seeing my friends kiddos, their vacations, their successes, and even their "real world" moments done with love and humor, but I get tired of all the negativity, drama, hate, and stupid stuff that often makes me want to delete all my accounts right that instant. 

As a business owner you can live and die by social media.  (Heck...I am posting this message on my FB pages as I type!)  The truth is someone could have one bad experience at my store or get one bad batch of pecans and rip me, my team, my family, and my business to shreds on social media without even letting me know about it or giving me the chance to make it right.  They could also sing my praises and give me five stars in the same manner as well.  All is fair (and unfair) in love, war, and the internet. 

To me social media is like being in high school all over again.  I get to hear a lot of things that I find vitally important, awesome, and totally cool (I graduated in the 90s...give me a break).  I also get to hear a lot of things I don't care about, don't believe to be completely true, and basically just ignore. 

But just like I kept going to class day in and day out for four years of my high school life, I continue to pop in to my social media sites on a daily basis (and sometimes several times a day).  The truth is many schools, children's sports teams, volunteer groups, special events, churches, businesses, and others use social media as a way to communicate and if you are not there to listen then you are often missing out.

The trick is to tune out the stuff that doesn't matter to YOU and tune in to the content that does.  If you love political debates by all means let me hook you up with my uncle Donny.  As a matter of fact if you love pugs he is your man too!  But if that isn't your thing and you are more into seeing some breathtaking Texas morning sunrises then my friend Jerry from Henrietta takes some of the best pictures I have ever seen.  I have friends who are into fitness, fashion, faces, and fur balls of all kinds.  I have friends who love the Cowboys, the Packers, the Rangers, and the Angels.  I have friends who read awesome books, live in amazing places, and have kids that are so stinking cute you would swear they aren't real!  Some of my friends are so hilariously funny I truly believe they should get their own reality tv show!  And some of my friends are fighting battles I could never imagine waging war against...they deal with so much pain and hurt and uncertainty that I think people should line up daily to just hug them.  Some of my friends post pictures of food that make me want to show up at their front doorstep with Tupperware in hand and some of my friends make me feel okay about my cooking skills because they too set off the smoke alarms every time they turn on the stove.

Whatever you want to find on social media the fact is it is out there.  You just have to get through all the other stuff to find it.  But isn't that life in general?  To get what we really want we have to get through all the stuff we don't want.  Of course sometimes the truly amazing happens while we are looking for one thing in particular.  We stumble upon something totally unexpected we never knew existed and it changes our lives forever.  I am always thankful for those friends, pages, groups, and events that I found while scrolling through and who made a huge a difference in my life. 

Whether you like it, love it, laugh at it, or hate it social media is what it is.  Just like most things you have to take the good with the bad.  So keep scrolling...keep hashtagging your heart out...keep liking up a storm.  Then get off the stinking phone, computer or tablet and go live your real life!!! 

Bitter or Better...

"Jill...A customer wants to talk to the manager."

Translation. 

"Jill...A customer is really mad and they plan on telling you about it."

Ughh. 

I used to want to run and hide when I heard that first line.  I do not like confrontations at all but I especially don't like them when it involves my family business.  My entire family puts our blood, sweat, and tears into producing and selling wonderful goods to consumers so when I get to listen to someone say how terrible my family, staff, or products are I am less than thrilled. 

In the last twelve years since I "officially" became the manager of the Pecan Shed I have been called just about every name in the book.  I have been cussed out, accused of being a thief, threatened to be sued, threatened to be harmed, and even almost run over by a customer's car in the parking lot one night. 

When people tell me how lucky I am to be the "boss" at the Pecan Shed I often want to tell them the truth...but I just smile and nod.  The truth is I am very lucky.

For every mean and nasty customer, vendor, or random person I have had to deal with over the years there are at least one hundred wonderful, amazing, sweet, and loyal customers who make my job a joy to go to every day.  The difficult part is remembering where to focus. 

So often we let ourselves focus on the little bit of bad that happens to us and we let it overshadow all the good.  If I am not careful I can let the small percentage of negativity I deal with at work make my job seem hard when it reality it isn't.  The truth is I am told many more times how good my products and team members are than I am ever told anything negative. 

I believe many times in life God will give us opportunities to face difficult events, situations, and people in an effort to mold us.  We can either allow these challenges to make us bitter or make us better. 

Now when I get the pleasure of talking to someone who is unhappy with a product or service we provide I take it as an chance to see if there really is room for improvement or at the very least I use the moment to educate the person who is upset as well as let them know that they have been heard.  Sometimes that is all people want in life is to be heard. 

When the truly hateful individuals show up, as they still do on rare occasions, I simply encourage them to shop elsewhere and remind my team we should all be glad we don't have to sit by that particular person at holiday meals.  Some people in life will never be happy and that is okay.  However I will not let them turn me bitter.  I will be better for having learned how to show them the door with grace, kindness, and possibly a little bit of humor thrown in for good measure. 

Leaders Are Readers...

If you listen to Dave Ramsey much when he talks about leadership in any type of organization you will often hear him say "Leaders are readers."  With that in mind here are a few of the most recent books I just LOVE and would highly recommend anyone read whether you are the CEO running a multibillion dollar business on Wall street or the MOM running a family from home.

EntreLeadership - Dave Ramsey - This book made me believe in great businesses again and made me want to become the leader of such a business. 

QBQ! The Question Behind the Question - John G. Miller - Wow!  You will never look at things the same after you read this book.  Personal accountability is severely lacking in today's world but this little quick read helps to shed light on how we all can make the shift to ask the be better question.

The Legend of the Monk and the Merchant - Terry Feblber - Great story about how making money can be your calling and how you can use your skills in the marketplace to be part of your ministry. 

Who Moved My Cheese - Spencer Johnson M.D. - I could only find this book on audio cd and I am actually glad I did.  I found myself laughing out loud not only at the story but at how I was exactly like the characters at different points in my life.  Everyone can get something out of this book whether your cheese got moved at work, with your spouse, with your kids, in your circle of friends, at your church...I promise you at some point your cheese has moved and now you need to go find new cheese. 

Basic Black - Catherine Black - If you are a woman I highly recommend you read this.  If you have a wife, daughter, or mother who is working in today's work force buy it for her.  If you work with women you might want to read it too! 

The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho - I loved this book when I read it.  I loved it so much I bought five more copies and handed them out to friends.  You should get it too. 

You Are a Badass:  How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life - Jen Sincero - Okay...if you can get past the curse words which I will say is hard for me at times this is a really amazing book!  I have read it and listened to it on audio at least ten times.  I use almost every principle she talks about and I promise you...THEY WORK!!!  Just ignore the F bombs. 

Books I have not read yet but are sitting on my nightstand or on loan to friends...

The Search for God and Guinness:  A Biography of the Beer that Changed the World - Stephen Mansfield

The Power of the Other:  The Startling Effect Other People Have on You, from the Boardroom to the Bedroom and Beyond-and What to Do About It - Dr. Henry Cloud

Rhinoceros Success: The Secret to Charging Full Speed Toward Every Opportunity - Scott Alexander

These are just a few but I hope if you are looking for something to read that is not your typical romance novel or summer thriller you will check out one of these I have mentioned.  No doubt many of you have heard of some of these or perhaps all of them.  They are good books and well worth the cost to add to your personal libraries. 

Happy Reading!! 

 

DISC

Recently I had each member of my leadership team take a DISC assessment test.  For those of you not familiar with the DISC it is a behavioral test to see what a person's tendencies are mainly in regards to how they process information, communicate with others, and interact with others in general.  Each letter in DISC represents a different dominant personality style.  Often people will even assign animals to each personality style.  While I have heard a few variations of what each letter stands for, the one I got during the EntreLeadership Summit is as follows...

D - Decisive - This is characterized by the lion.  D personalities are very focused on "when" something is going to happen.  They are drivers, very result-oriented, often overlook details, and can have a tendency to hurt others feelings without intending to.  They are very task-oriented and quick to act.

I - Interactive - The otter is portrayed with this group.  I personalities are more concerned with the "who" part of any project or activity.  They are very people-oriented and often are also quick to act.  They are expressive, impulsive, persuasive, and can tend to lose focus on tasks easily.  This group needs to be around people to be happy.

S - Stabilizing - A golden retriever is used to represent this group.  While S personalities are very people-oriented they are slower to act.  Those who fall in the S group are concerned with the "why".  They dislike conflict, are often great team players, and are usually very understanding and amiable. 

C - Cautious - The beaver is used for this group.  Cs are very task-oriented but are also slow to act.  They want to know the "how" when it comes to things.  Sometimes people in this group can seem rigid and resistant to change.  Those in this category usually love details and are very analytical. 

Before my leadership team took their tests most of us could guess pretty well what each one's strongest characteristic was or at least what would be in the top two.  Some of us were surprised though how we fell into each of the categories in general. 

The best thing we all took away from these tests were it gave us each a better understanding of why we all behave the way we do and hopefully it will help us to communicate and work better with each other in the future.  It also was eye opening to us to realize the rest of our team will have various spectrums of the DISC as well as our customers.

Communication and work environments cannot be created with cookie cutters.  Each team member and customer will hear, process, and express information differently.  The trick is not to communicate and work with others only in the way you prefer but to find out what personality you are dealing with and communicate and work with them in a way they can best understand and utilize the information. 

My leadership team and I were able to laugh a lot looking back on some of our past communication efforts.  I am a high S so when I need to talk with my high Ds they tend to go crazy because they just want a decision and I want to take more time and see how everyone will be affected.  My high Is drive my Cs nuts because my Cs just want the details and my Is might not even know what the details are but they know what happened with each employee on Friday night. 

Once we knew what our strengths were we were also able see where our weaknesses were and we can all now work on those aspects.  Personally I need to pull the trigger a little faster on some decisions but I have a pretty good feeling I will never be a huge lion in our group.  I don't worry too much though.  I have several on my team who roar loud enough!  :)