Nothing Changes...

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes.

I read that yesterday and it made me think.

One side of my brain went...Well duh!!!

The other side of my brain went...This is life changing news people!!!!

My brain often does that.  It is like a bad reality tv show going on up there pretty much 24/7.

The part of my brain that was less than impressed knows this simple statement is so obvious a two year old could figure it out.  However the other part of my brain that was utterly amazed by the deepness and complexity of this one thought was sure it took Franciscan Monks years of silence and holy communion with God to come up with such a life altering view.

Isn't that how most things go? 

Often our greatest Oprah "ah-ha" moments end up being the most simplistic ideas.  They were things and ideas we have intrinsically known all along but when someone else says them to us or puts them on Facebook with clouds and a sunrise as the background we are blown away by this seemingly "new" knowledge. 

Nothing changes if nothing changes.  Wow!!!  Still it gets me! 

So often in life I want things to change but I personally resist changing.  So often I want people to change but I don't change my views of them, how I treat them, how I react to them, or even change my stance and just accept them for who they are.  So often I want my past to change but I stay stuck in my same old habits.  This then means my future will be no different from my past.  I could change my ways and thus change what happens in the future (which will someday be the past) but I refuse to most of the time. 

Change is hard.  Change is scary.  Change can hurt. 

Not changing is hard.  Not changing is scary.  Not changing can hurt.

Nothing changes if nothing changes might not be earth shattering information but it is definitely worth putting on a sticky note and sticking it to my bathroom mirror.  And posting it on Dotty's mirror.  And putting it on the dash of my car.  And using it as a tag line for all my emails from this point forward. 

Things do change whether we want them to or not.  We age.  We get grey hair.  We get wrinkles.  We slow down.  We get more grey hair even though we paid good money to color the ones we got last time.  We forget things.  We get aches and pains.  We get more grey hair...dang it. 

I can't permanently change what I see in the mirror because Mother Nature is always going to be there to show me who is in charge, but I can make a big change to what I can't see in the mirror.  I can change my mind, my heart, my attitude, my feelings, my soul...I can change my world. 

We decide if nothing changes.  We decide if we stay where we are or if we move forward or backward.  We decide when and how we change. 

Nothing changes if nothing changes. 

This is life changing news people...duh!!!!

Why??? Why Not!!!

Sometimes the question is....Why???
Sometimes the answer is....Why not!!!

During a church service I attended this weekend the pastor pointed out that fear is often one of the main reasons we never take a risk.  We fear the known but mostly the unknown.  We fear failure and we can even fear success. 

We are scared to ask someone out, enroll in a college course, start our own business, leave the job we hate, apply for the job we always wanted, write the book, write the first chapter, write the first word, ask the girl to marry us, break up with the boy who we know is bad for us, tell our kids no, tell our kids yes, tell our kids we have no clue, paint a masterpiece, paint a picture, paint by numbers, get the dog, get the next dog, get the cat, get the fish, get the whole zoo!!! 

We usually know the why.  What we are looking for is the answer to the why.  We look for all the possible reasons, outcomes, pitfalls, and possibilities.  And sometimes the only good answer is...why not! 

You Can Have It All...Just Not All Today...

As I roll out of bed and head to the kitchen I see my "to do" list on the counter.  It reads...

5am - workout
5:30 - read Bible and meditate
6am - get ready for work - look fabulous!
6:30 - wake up Dotty
7am - fix a healthy breakfast and have meaningful conversation with Dotty
7:30 - head to school/work
8am - check and respond to all email
8:30 - team meeting about day's events along with daily devotional and team celebrations
9am - store opens, greet customers with baked goods I made fresh the night before
10am - write four to five chapters of my recent book
11am - create new product along with entire marketing campaign
12am - lunch with friends where we share recipes, class party tips, and solve the world peace problem
1pm - record my daily web show where I tell everyone how they can do it all and not go nuts!
2pm - review all the company's financials and discuss in detail with my CPA
3pm - pick up Dotty at school with a healthy snack I packed from home
4pm - all homework is done and both of us have read an additional 20 minutes
5pm - practice (softball, dance, cheerleading, or golf...depending on the day)
6pm - home cooked dinner with lighthearted banter and lots of love
7pm - bath time using soap I made from scratch
7:30 - meditation for both of us
8pm - lights out for Dotty
8:30 - all laundry and housework are done and make fresh baked goods for the following day
9pm - lights out for me

Anyone see a problem with this list????

Well for starters if any of you know a woman who can get ready in 30 minutes and look "fabulous" after a workout then I want to meet her.  I also sort of hate her because it takes me a good hour to get my look to the point where people won't ask me if I feel bad all day long. 

Another laughable note is who has ever responded to ALL their email???  I have at least 20 in my inbox at all times and based on what I hear from friends that is on the low end of the spectrum.  Also, for those of you who know me well you know my skills in the kitchen are down right scary so anything baked by me would need to be consumed with caution. 

Pretty much every item on this "list" was meant to make you all laugh out loud.  However the truth is I really do wish I could do everything on this list every day.

Could I do a lot of it?  Yes.  Do I?  No.  Could I do some of it?  Yes.  Do I?  Sometimes. 

I want to have it all...I want to be a great mom, Christian, manager, writer, innovator, baker, homemaker, friend, motivator, and sleeper (man do I want to be a great sleeper!!!)...but some days I am only a few of these...and some days I don't feel like I am any of them. 

What I know for sure is I can never be all of them at once.  Depending on the moment I am in I have to choose what I want to be great at or not so great at.  At some point in time I can be great at all those things...I just can't be great at all of them today.  But being great at just one or two of them a day isn't all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

Today my goal is to be a great sleeper.  So if you stop by the store and I am napping just know that I am working on my personal goal for today and don't wake me up.  :)

Aren't You the Pecan Shed Kid???

Last night as we were getting up from our table after dinner at a local restaurant, Dotty and I were talking to one another when a man at the table next to us interrupted by asking "Aren't you the Pecan Shed kid from the commercials?"

I looked down to see if I was in a Pecan Shed logo tshirt.  I wasn't.  This guy had a good eye...or a good ear since Dotty had been talking nonstop for the entire meal.

Dotty immediately went into diva mode and smiled brightly at the gentleman as she nodded shyly.  After a few more kind words from the man, Dotty and I turned to leave.  As she spun around with flare, Dotty flipped down her big sunglasses she had perched on her head and walked out of the restaurant mumbling with a grin how she couldn't go anywhere these days without people recognizing her.

I don't have a pecan princess on my hands.  I have a drama queen!

I took the opportunity to remind Dotty once again that we are always to be on our best behavior because we never know who is watching and will associate us with the Pecan Shed.  As part of the Montz family we represent the business 24/7.  I was preached this sermon when I was a kid so often I knew it by heart and I was going to make sure to pass it down to the next generation.

As we drove home though I began to think how we all have to be on our best behavior regardless of who we are or where we work because people are always watching.  Children are watching their parents to see if they say please and thank you like they remind the kids to do all the time.  Students are watching teachers to see if they walk on the grass when the sign says not to.  Employees watch the managers to see if they get to work on time like the handbook clearly states. 

But what about when no one is even around?  How do we behave when the only ones watching us are ourselves and God?  Do we take an extra cookie even though we claim to not be cheating on our diet?  Do we drive the speed limit down the old county road when we are late already?  Do we look at websites we would be ashamed to tell our spouse about? 

The truth is someone is always watching how we behave, what we say, and can even read our hearts and minds.  Scary huh?!  We are that someone!  We know the real us...the person we are when no one else is looking. 

Personally, I am thankful every day that only God can know my thoughts and even then on some occasions I have to ask for forgiveness...okay on more than just some occasions.  I think sometimes people forget (or maybe just forget to care) that they are being watched by others in society, by friends, family members, children, their dog...and of course God.  While they might not represent a family business like I do they still represent a family or at the very least themselves. 

I am known for telling my team that when they wear Pecan Shed shirts they represent the store, the Montz name, and 35 years of hard work so they better be being good.  I think I will start going one step further and remind them when they are not in a Pecan Shed shirt they represent themselves and that is their most important representation of all. 

Whistle Blowers of a Different Kind

When I was younger I played a lot of sports.  We were taught as athletes that our bodies were able to handle a lot more than our minds thought they could.  Our coaches pushed us to the point of muscle failure and body fatigue.  My legs would feel like Jello after practices.  I would have to lean my arm up against the shower wall and move my head back and forth under my hand to wash my hair because I couldn't hold my arms up over my head some days.  We pushed and pushed and pushed ourselves past our breaking points in order to build our bodies back stronger, faster, and better than before. 

During practices, just when I thought I couldn't take another step, that was when I would hear the infamous "On the line!"  As I wobbled to the baseline while sweat poured off my face, I was sure I would fall over any second.  Right before I crumbled to the floor, the whistle would blow. 

From somewhere deep inside, down in a place I didn't know existed, I would find the strength not only to move but to sprint down the court and back again.  This happened over and over and over.  Each time I was amazed my body could function much less run. 

Then when the glorious words "Huddle up!" were said I suddenly had tons of energy and could jog over to where my coach stood.  I had survived!  I had preserved.  I had accomplished a task I doubted my ability to do before, during, and even a little bit after it was done. 

Some days I miss my coaches' styles of encouragement.  They believed in me even when I didn't.  They knew I had more to give when I thought I was spent.  They saw in me and in many others more than I saw we saw in ourselves. 

In the real world we don't have many people who will push us to that breaking point and beyond.  We don't usually know how to push ourselves that far either whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, or otherwise.  At work and at home we usually only push until it begins to get uncomfortable and then we stop.  We don't get back on the line and try again.  We call it quits and head to the metaphorically locker room.  Many of us don't have an internal or external motivator to push us beyond our perceived limits. 

Not too many people still wear a whistle these days.  Perhaps we should all wear one if only to push ourselves a little more. 

Be Careful What You Say...

Recently I was playing Candy Land with my daughter.  It had been a long day so I was kind of quiet and Dotty was just rambling on as we drew cards and hopped our game pieces around the multicolored board.  Dotty was talking about her day, her pajamas, her friends, her dogs, her future husband, what she wanted for breakfast in the morning, what she wanted to be when she grew up, what she wanted to read at bedtime, what she wanted to wear when she met the princess (any princess...doesn't really matter) and what card she did or did not want to draw next in the game. 

Every time she got a great card that would jump her ahead several spaces she would start worrying she might draw a bad card that would send her back to the beginning of the game.  Sure enough it wouldn't be long before the gingerbread man or candy cane showed up and Dotty was hopping her little green guy way back down the board with a frown and folded arms. 

We played the game six times.  I won five rounds.  As we were putting the game up Dotty mumbled something about me not being very nice because I didn't  let her win a few more times.  I reminded my competitive angel that Candy Land is not a game that Mommys can easily "let" their kids win at since it is really just a game of chance rather than skill. 

However, I did tell her that I believe that our words have power.  I believe our words have the power to hurt or heal people and so it is important to use them wisely.  I also believe that what we put out into the world usually comes looking for us.

For example, if a person says they get the flu every year, then stand by with a box of Kleenex because usually they start sneezing soon after.  If a girl says she can never find a good guy to date, then don't get too attached to the next guy she introduces you to.  Chances are he will not be a keeper.  If a guy says he always gets the best parking places, make sure and ride with him the next time you are headed to a big event. 

Of course I know I can't Pollyanna my way through life and no matter how positive I am or how many words of affirmation I speak some things in life will go wrong.  People I love will get hurt or sick, the economy will go down, customers will get mad, and a host of other things.  Yet I don't dwell on these negatives for too long.  I choose to remain positive. 

I don't wait for the other shoe to drop.  I just assume the shoelaces will hold and the other shoe is firmly in place.  I don't expect the worst.  I plan for everything and hope for the best.  When I draw the game piece that shoots me up to hang out with Princess Frostine I just tell the universe to keep sending me those brightly colored square game pieces and I don't worry that Grandma Nut is going to send her peanut my way.  I hop along the board until I am singing "winner winner chicken dinner" with King Kandy in the Candy Castle. 

Choices and Consequences...

"You can choose your actions, or you can choose your consequences, but you can't choose both." 

When I read that line in a book not only did I underline it but I stopped and really thought about it for several moments.  While we all know this to be true we often choose to ignore this fact.  Most of the time we have a good idea of what the possible consequences of our actions might be and yet we still try to manipulate those consequences in our favor.  Sometimes we get away with it and sometimes we don't. 

Sometimes the consequences last for a few moments or a few days.  Sometimes they last for a lifetime.  Sometimes they change our plans for the weekend.  Sometimes they change our plans forever. 

Little Acorns Become Mighty Oaks...

Since we aren't allowed to plant anything but pecan trees in my family I guess my version of this would be "little pecans become mighty trees" or something along those lines.

I have heard this many times for a variety of purposes but most recently it was referring to dreams.  When we let ourselves begin to dream we are planting the seeds for what can become our future but we can't stop there.

Dreams are just wishes until we turn them into visions and goals.  With each step we must fine tune our dream, blow away the clouds and bring it into the sunlight so we can see the dream with more clarity. 

According to Dave Ramsey's Entreleadership team you start with a dream, turn it into a vision, create a mission statement, then begin to set your goals.  What I loved most of all is the Ramsey team gives very thorough guidelines for creating effective goals.  They say goals must be specific, measurable, have a time limit, be yours (no one can set a goal for you and you can't set a goal for someone else), and you must write the goal down.  Chris Hogan went on to say you have to ask yourself what are you willing to give up in order to reach your goal (that hit home). 

All businesses big or small started off as someone's dream.  The huge "oaks" of the business world like Chick-fil-a, Hobby Lobby, Southwest Airlines, and others were once an acorn years ago but thanks to a strong root system were able to grow mighty and strong.  The Pecan Shed was just a dream my parents had and in fact they never dreamed it would become what it is today (though not an "oak" of Chick-fil-a magnitude it is definitely bigger than my family ever imagined it would become one day). 

Never underestimate the power of  your own "little acorn" dreams.  Given enough love, time, and room to grow, one day you might look up and see you are standing in the shade of the "mighty oak" you grew!

Written in Stone

Other than the Ten Commandments and what is written about a person on their tombstone, very few things in life are actually written in stone.  Most things and situations are in fact able to change in some way...now you might not like how they change but they can in fact do so.

People can even change although this process is sort of like trying to edit a manuscript back in the days of Moses.  Whiteout just isn't going to cut it.  The process of changing a person is going to be like chipping away at a stone tablet...slow and tedious and often messy.

In order for people to change they have to be the ones who want to change.  You wanting them to change isn't enough.  Researching how to change them won't work.  You signing up for all the classes isn't going to make it happen.

For example, a wife with a husband who has a problem with alcohol can want her husband to change.  She can read tons of books, go to counseling, seek advice from friends and family who have dealt with a similar situation.  She can even go to AA meetings herself.  All of this might help her cope with an alcoholic husband.  However, it won't help her husband change until he is the one who decides he has a problem and makes the choice to attend a meeting and say "Hi my name is ___________ and I am an alcoholic."  Then he make an effort everyday to change his relationship with alcohol and his wife. 

Change is hard.  Change is scary.  Change is the last thing we want to do sometimes when we have tried everything else.  Change can hurt.  Change can heal.  Change can take us to a place we never knew existed because we never dared to dream that big. 

Until the day they put us ten feet under, we have the ability to change for better or worse.  Until the day those we leave behind must decide what is truly written in stone about us, we have the choice to offer up goodness, love, hope, gratitude, grace, generosity, and so much more to this world and the people we care about.  Until that day, may we all choose to change ourselves, change our families, change our communities, and change our world for the better. 

Nothing Worth Getting Comes Easy...

I once commented to one of my mom friends, "It must be so easy to be a mom when you have kids as good as your boys." 

She was quick to correct me by saying, "None of this came easy.  I had to make a ton of tough parenting choices along the way."

She told me stories about how her oldest son wanted to go to parties in high school his friends were attending and she made the tough choice to tell him no to a few of them.  Each time she refused her son was mad at her for weeks.  She went on to mention several of those former high school friends have since gotten DWIs and struggled in other ways with drugs and alcohol. 

Her other son was quite shy when he was little so she would force him to speak to others when he was spoken to.  After each encounter he would cry all the way home and ask her why she was so mean to make him do those things.  Just the other day though he was chosen to give a speech at his high school graduation and he did so with ease.

She had many more examples of how she got the "easy" job of being a mom to good kids by making all the hard choices along the way.  My favorite thing she said was "It would have been EASY to let them do what they wanted to do a few times so I could have been the 'cool' mom but when you make the EASY decisions early you sometimes have to deal with HARD circumstances later on in life.  Being consistent is key." 

As I left our little get-together I couldn't help but think of my own parenting skills with my daughter as well as my leadership skills at work.  Creating a team full of good team members is not an easy job.  It means making the hard choices early on in a consistent basis in order to form a firm foundation for the team to grow and thrive. 

Making the tough choices is just that...tough.  However the easy choices are not usually the best ones in the long run.  Sometimes it can be difficult for people to see the big picture but it is our job as leaders to help them to see and understand it. 

Get Your Foot Off the Brake...

"You can't drive with the brakes on."  This is how Mark Foreman put in when he was being interviewed on Focus on the Family.  Mr. Foreman had been discussing how early on in our parenting career we need to make safety our number one goal for our kids.  However as they get older we have to let off the brakes so to speak and let kids drive through life a little bit.  The fact is if you have a twenty three year old who has never gotten a few bumps or bruises from life and living then he is going to have a hard time in this world.  We as parents need to learn to start taking our foot off the brakes as our kids get older.

This whole idea resonated with me not only as a parent but just in general.  As a parent I am constantly checking Amazon for a bubble to put Dotty in.  If it could be pink with sparkles even better.  In my ideal world she would never feel pain, disappointment, fear, heartbreak, loss, or anything negative.  I realize though putting her in a bubble would also keep her from feeling much love, joy, excitement, or happiness (I mean after the fun of living in a pink sparkly bubble wears off).

I also began to realize you can't drive with the brakes on in business either.  Just because you achieve one level of success does not mean you just get to park there and enjoy the view from now on.  Very successful companies like Mars, Incorporated (the candy company that makes M&Ms among other products) are constantly inventing new marketing ideas, changing product packaging, and trying to reach the next generation of consumers.  Have some ideas been not so great?  Of course they have.  Did you try the Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms or Chile Nut?  I haven't.  But you aren't always going to hit a homerun with every idea and that is the point.  You have to take your foot off the brake and step on the accelerator once in a while.  If you hit a wall, you clean up the wreckage, back up, figure out what went wrong and try again.  Personally, I am so glad that the Blue M&M got added to the color mix back in 1995.  It is one of my favorite colors...if I can ever find one. 

In business you will hit a bump or two when it comes to new ideas but you will also hit your stride as well.  As long as you take your foot off the brake and keep moving forward.  So grab the steering wheel, put on your seatbelt, and hit the gas.

Side note:  I read they also have a Pecan Pie M&M too.  I might have to look into that one! 

Delegation - Even Jesus Needed Help Getting Stuff Done

In Luke chapter 16 Jesus is telling the Parable of the Shrewd Manager and in verse ten it says "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much".  In black and white...well actually it is printed in red ink in my Bible since Jesus is speaking...Jesus is telling us how to delegate to others. 

The key is to only give them a little at first.  Once they prove they are good stewards of the small amount then they can be given more.

For example, at work when you have Mr. New Guy join your organization you don't automatically hand him all the credit cards, passwords, and customers and then leave for a month's vacation to a remote island where you can't get any cell phone service.  You clear your calendar and you hang out with the New Guy for a few days or a week until he feels comfortable at work (or at least until he knows where the bathroom is).  Then you give him a customer of his very own and tell him you will be back to check on him.  Then you come back and check on him.  A lot.  Then not so much.  Then just a little.  Then rarely.  Then there comes a point where you only see (no longer the) New Guy if there is a problem and he comes to you for help. 

When New Guy does a great job with one customer you give him more customers.  If he does good with those you might give him a project.  If he does good with that you might give him a committee, then maybe a department, then one day New Guy is hanging out with you at Board Meetings and his name has changed from New Guy to Chief Something.  This whole process took New Guy years...not weeks...years!  He proved you were able to trust him with very little and so now you can trust him with being a driving force in your company.    

When it came to getting stuff done even Jesus needed help.  He recruited his disciples to spread the gospel.  These twelve men were selected to preach the good word.  Jesus spent time with these men.  They ate together, traveled together, and hung out a lot with each other.  Jesus didn't just hire them to do the job then go back to his desk and start reading the latest Tablets or take a vacation to somewhere where he could relax and get away from it all.  No.  Jesus poured into them his teachings and taught them how to handle many diverse and often difficult situations.  These men weren't perfect.  Far from it in some cases.  However Jesus knew the key was to select men and then have the men prove (mainly to each other because he was Jesus after all...he knew how the story would go) who could be trusted before he gave them their greatest challenge of all.  There was a learning curve and there were setbacks.  The disciples had to really buy in to what Jesus was preaching but once they did those who remained were given the greatest jobs of all time.

He said to the eleven that remained in Mark 16:15 "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation". 

Now that is some real delegation right there.

Prayers for Dallas...

"Hate - It has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet." - Maya Angelou

We pray for Dallas.

We pray for all those hurting.

We pray for all those who knowingly risk their lives everyday to save others.

We pray for their families.

We pray for peace.

We simply pray.

I Lost My Diplomas...

I was rearranging some rooms in my house a couple of months ago and I took down my two diplomas.  I have not seen them since.   

I have BBA and MBA in Business from Midwestern State University.  I graduated with honors and made my parents very proud.  So proud in fact it took them a while to actually give me my diplomas after they had them framed for me as a graduation gift.  My diplomas hung in my parents house alongside my brothers Bachelors in Horticulture degree from Tarleton State University for several years.

And now I can't find them.

Many people ask me why I don't hang my diplomas at the stores, in my office, or at least somewhere in my house where people can see them (so far they have hung behind doors or in closets).  Trust me I am very proud of my degrees.  If anyone had Dr. Harvey for Statistics (and I had her for both undergrad and grad courses) you definitely have a sense of pride for getting out of that class with any kind of passing grade. 

I think college is important.  I am glad I went.  I learned a lot.  I might even go back some day and get my PhD.  I hope my daughter will go to college. 

However, some of the smartest people I know (especially in the pecan industry) did not go to or did not finish college.  Neither of my parents finished college and they are smart business minded individuals.  In my opinion, while it never hurts to have a college degree I also don't feel that just because I have one or two means I am somehow smarter than others in the room.

You can ask any of my staff, close friends, or family, I can't spell to save my life and if I don't have a calculator or a phone handy my math is pretty iffy.  My CPA has asked me several times if I slept through my accounting classes and other than knowing to take the lump sum if you win the lottery I am kind of clueless with finance issues. 

All that being said I think the best thing college did teach me is the ability to study difficult and diverse topics until I could grasp them enough to understand them.  It taught me to focus, manage my time, and be open to new ideas. 

I was one of the people who knew at eighteen the "real world" was going to be too hard for me but also knew I couldn't stay in high school forever.  College was a great way to spend four or five years transitioning from being a naïve teenager to being a naïve twenty year old.  The real world still knocked me down a time or two when I got out in it after graduation but thanks to college and all that comes along with it (all night cram sessions, all night parties, college professors, college boys, college friends, boring 8am classes, bad lab partners, good roommates, terrible roommates, and so much more) I was a little tougher than when I arrived on campus.

My diplomas are important to me.  It took a lot to get them but I have learned a lot since the day I walked across the stage.  Some things you just can't learn in a classroom.  Some things only life can teach you.  Now if only life will tell me where I put those darn things I will be good!!



 

You've Got Mail...

I have watched "You've Got Mail" probably over two hundred times at least.  Every time it comes on the television when I am flipping through the channels I will stop and watch it to the end no matter how much is left in the show.  I just have to see if Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly will get together in the end again. 

I love this show.  I love watching it.  It makes me happy to sit and watch every minute of this movie.  I love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.  I love books and movies about books.  I love New York.  I love hearing the old dial up sound (it takes me back to my teenage years).  I simply love it all.

Except for when it is over and I realize I have wasted my time whether it be five minutes or two hours watching a movie I not only know by heart but also own on DVD thus could watch without commercials!!!

Why do we waste so much time on such silly things?  It amazes me how much time I waste a day looking at Facebook, checking my email for the nineteenth time, scrolling through Pinterest, watching boring or pointless tv shows, and so on. 

Even while typing this I have the tv on in the living room and tabs up on the computer screen for Facebook and my email.  My ability to multitask yet still use my time poorly some days is quite amazing. 

I have stacks of books in my room I have not read yet.  I am signed up for Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership All Access in which there are endless amounts of lessons and eCoaching sessions to listen to.  I have several apps on my phone for motivational podcasts. 

Yet most days unless I am very disciplined I turn to the mind numbing activities.  Why?  Because it is easier to do those.  Because the former ones rarely make me stretch my thoughts, heart, core values, or talents like the latter ones do.  Because it is easy.  Because it is a habit.  Because it is an escape. 

Staying in the now is sometimes hard.  Working on paperwork, payroll reports, book chapters, job descriptions, food journals, laundry, sleep...can all be hard sometimes.  But avoiding them does not make them go away.  A distraction is only temporary and can't last forever.  Like all good movies, they must come to an end. 

Oh and in case you were wondering...Joe and Kathleen did get together again.  Whew!  Roll the credits. 
 

You Can't Avoid Conflict...

I have never been a fan of boxing or wrestling or the Bachelor.  I just don't like conflict.

However, the truth is we can't avoid conflict.  Another truth is having conflict in your business or your personal life does not necessarily mean it is a bad thing.  Some conflict is good.  Certain types of  conflict can lead to new ideas and growth.

The key with conflict is how well you "fight".  Verbal abuse, arguing for the sake of arguing, close mindedness, immaturity, hate, anger, resentment, and other elements do not make a good fight.  Having a mature adult conversation does.

Stating your facts in a calm, rational voice is key.  Being open to hear what others say and how they feel is crucial.  Making a decision based on what is good for the business, family, relationship, or community as a whole is vital (even if that means your choice is not the decision that was picked).  You can't fight to win.  You have to fight to be heard but then you have to look at all the options on the table and pick the best one...not just yours.

Once the decision has been made you need to let it go.  You can't hold grudges  When the bell rings or the final rose has been handed out the fight is over.  Don't have a rematch or a reunion show to drag up all the old issues again...your goal is not to get ratings it is to get results.