I once commented to one of my mom friends, "It must be so easy to be a mom when you have kids as good as your boys."
She was quick to correct me by saying, "None of this came easy. I had to make a ton of tough parenting choices along the way."
She told me stories about how her oldest son wanted to go to parties in high school his friends were attending and she made the tough choice to tell him no to a few of them. Each time she refused her son was mad at her for weeks. She went on to mention several of those former high school friends have since gotten DWIs and struggled in other ways with drugs and alcohol.
Her other son was quite shy when he was little so she would force him to speak to others when he was spoken to. After each encounter he would cry all the way home and ask her why she was so mean to make him do those things. Just the other day though he was chosen to give a speech at his high school graduation and he did so with ease.
She had many more examples of how she got the "easy" job of being a mom to good kids by making all the hard choices along the way. My favorite thing she said was "It would have been EASY to let them do what they wanted to do a few times so I could have been the 'cool' mom but when you make the EASY decisions early you sometimes have to deal with HARD circumstances later on in life. Being consistent is key."
As I left our little get-together I couldn't help but think of my own parenting skills with my daughter as well as my leadership skills at work. Creating a team full of good team members is not an easy job. It means making the hard choices early on in a consistent basis in order to form a firm foundation for the team to grow and thrive.
Making the tough choices is just that...tough. However the easy choices are not usually the best ones in the long run. Sometimes it can be difficult for people to see the big picture but it is our job as leaders to help them to see and understand it.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Get Your Foot Off the Brake...
"You can't drive with the brakes on." This is how Mark Foreman put in when he was being interviewed on Focus on the Family. Mr. Foreman had been discussing how early on in our parenting career we need to make safety our number one goal for our kids. However as they get older we have to let off the brakes so to speak and let kids drive through life a little bit. The fact is if you have a twenty three year old who has never gotten a few bumps or bruises from life and living then he is going to have a hard time in this world. We as parents need to learn to start taking our foot off the brakes as our kids get older.
This whole idea resonated with me not only as a parent but just in general. As a parent I am constantly checking Amazon for a bubble to put Dotty in. If it could be pink with sparkles even better. In my ideal world she would never feel pain, disappointment, fear, heartbreak, loss, or anything negative. I realize though putting her in a bubble would also keep her from feeling much love, joy, excitement, or happiness (I mean after the fun of living in a pink sparkly bubble wears off).
I also began to realize you can't drive with the brakes on in business either. Just because you achieve one level of success does not mean you just get to park there and enjoy the view from now on. Very successful companies like Mars, Incorporated (the candy company that makes M&Ms among other products) are constantly inventing new marketing ideas, changing product packaging, and trying to reach the next generation of consumers. Have some ideas been not so great? Of course they have. Did you try the Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms or Chile Nut? I haven't. But you aren't always going to hit a homerun with every idea and that is the point. You have to take your foot off the brake and step on the accelerator once in a while. If you hit a wall, you clean up the wreckage, back up, figure out what went wrong and try again. Personally, I am so glad that the Blue M&M got added to the color mix back in 1995. It is one of my favorite colors...if I can ever find one.
In business you will hit a bump or two when it comes to new ideas but you will also hit your stride as well. As long as you take your foot off the brake and keep moving forward. So grab the steering wheel, put on your seatbelt, and hit the gas.
Side note: I read they also have a Pecan Pie M&M too. I might have to look into that one!
This whole idea resonated with me not only as a parent but just in general. As a parent I am constantly checking Amazon for a bubble to put Dotty in. If it could be pink with sparkles even better. In my ideal world she would never feel pain, disappointment, fear, heartbreak, loss, or anything negative. I realize though putting her in a bubble would also keep her from feeling much love, joy, excitement, or happiness (I mean after the fun of living in a pink sparkly bubble wears off).
I also began to realize you can't drive with the brakes on in business either. Just because you achieve one level of success does not mean you just get to park there and enjoy the view from now on. Very successful companies like Mars, Incorporated (the candy company that makes M&Ms among other products) are constantly inventing new marketing ideas, changing product packaging, and trying to reach the next generation of consumers. Have some ideas been not so great? Of course they have. Did you try the Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms or Chile Nut? I haven't. But you aren't always going to hit a homerun with every idea and that is the point. You have to take your foot off the brake and step on the accelerator once in a while. If you hit a wall, you clean up the wreckage, back up, figure out what went wrong and try again. Personally, I am so glad that the Blue M&M got added to the color mix back in 1995. It is one of my favorite colors...if I can ever find one.
In business you will hit a bump or two when it comes to new ideas but you will also hit your stride as well. As long as you take your foot off the brake and keep moving forward. So grab the steering wheel, put on your seatbelt, and hit the gas.
Side note: I read they also have a Pecan Pie M&M too. I might have to look into that one!
Monday, July 11, 2016
Delegation - Even Jesus Needed Help Getting Stuff Done
In Luke chapter 16 Jesus is telling the Parable of the Shrewd Manager and in verse ten it says "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much". In black and white...well actually it is printed in red ink in my Bible since Jesus is speaking...Jesus is telling us how to delegate to others.
The key is to only give them a little at first. Once they prove they are good stewards of the small amount then they can be given more.
For example, at work when you have Mr. New Guy join your organization you don't automatically hand him all the credit cards, passwords, and customers and then leave for a month's vacation to a remote island where you can't get any cell phone service. You clear your calendar and you hang out with the New Guy for a few days or a week until he feels comfortable at work (or at least until he knows where the bathroom is). Then you give him a customer of his very own and tell him you will be back to check on him. Then you come back and check on him. A lot. Then not so much. Then just a little. Then rarely. Then there comes a point where you only see (no longer the) New Guy if there is a problem and he comes to you for help.
When New Guy does a great job with one customer you give him more customers. If he does good with those you might give him a project. If he does good with that you might give him a committee, then maybe a department, then one day New Guy is hanging out with you at Board Meetings and his name has changed from New Guy to Chief Something. This whole process took New Guy years...not weeks...years! He proved you were able to trust him with very little and so now you can trust him with being a driving force in your company.
When it came to getting stuff done even Jesus needed help. He recruited his disciples to spread the gospel. These twelve men were selected to preach the good word. Jesus spent time with these men. They ate together, traveled together, and hung out a lot with each other. Jesus didn't just hire them to do the job then go back to his desk and start reading the latest Tablets or take a vacation to somewhere where he could relax and get away from it all. No. Jesus poured into them his teachings and taught them how to handle many diverse and often difficult situations. These men weren't perfect. Far from it in some cases. However Jesus knew the key was to select men and then have the men prove (mainly to each other because he was Jesus after all...he knew how the story would go) who could be trusted before he gave them their greatest challenge of all. There was a learning curve and there were setbacks. The disciples had to really buy in to what Jesus was preaching but once they did those who remained were given the greatest jobs of all time.
He said to the eleven that remained in Mark 16:15 "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation".
Now that is some real delegation right there.
The key is to only give them a little at first. Once they prove they are good stewards of the small amount then they can be given more.
For example, at work when you have Mr. New Guy join your organization you don't automatically hand him all the credit cards, passwords, and customers and then leave for a month's vacation to a remote island where you can't get any cell phone service. You clear your calendar and you hang out with the New Guy for a few days or a week until he feels comfortable at work (or at least until he knows where the bathroom is). Then you give him a customer of his very own and tell him you will be back to check on him. Then you come back and check on him. A lot. Then not so much. Then just a little. Then rarely. Then there comes a point where you only see (no longer the) New Guy if there is a problem and he comes to you for help.
When New Guy does a great job with one customer you give him more customers. If he does good with those you might give him a project. If he does good with that you might give him a committee, then maybe a department, then one day New Guy is hanging out with you at Board Meetings and his name has changed from New Guy to Chief Something. This whole process took New Guy years...not weeks...years! He proved you were able to trust him with very little and so now you can trust him with being a driving force in your company.
When it came to getting stuff done even Jesus needed help. He recruited his disciples to spread the gospel. These twelve men were selected to preach the good word. Jesus spent time with these men. They ate together, traveled together, and hung out a lot with each other. Jesus didn't just hire them to do the job then go back to his desk and start reading the latest Tablets or take a vacation to somewhere where he could relax and get away from it all. No. Jesus poured into them his teachings and taught them how to handle many diverse and often difficult situations. These men weren't perfect. Far from it in some cases. However Jesus knew the key was to select men and then have the men prove (mainly to each other because he was Jesus after all...he knew how the story would go) who could be trusted before he gave them their greatest challenge of all. There was a learning curve and there were setbacks. The disciples had to really buy in to what Jesus was preaching but once they did those who remained were given the greatest jobs of all time.
He said to the eleven that remained in Mark 16:15 "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation".
Now that is some real delegation right there.
Friday, July 8, 2016
Prayers for Dallas...
"Hate - It has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet." - Maya Angelou
We pray for Dallas.
We pray for all those hurting.
We pray for all those who knowingly risk their lives everyday to save others.
We pray for their families.
We pray for peace.
We simply pray.
We pray for Dallas.
We pray for all those hurting.
We pray for all those who knowingly risk their lives everyday to save others.
We pray for their families.
We pray for peace.
We simply pray.
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
I Lost My Diplomas...
I was rearranging some rooms in my house a couple of months ago and I took down my two diplomas. I have not seen them since.
I have BBA and MBA in Business from Midwestern State University. I graduated with honors and made my parents very proud. So proud in fact it took them a while to actually give me my diplomas after they had them framed for me as a graduation gift. My diplomas hung in my parents house alongside my brothers Bachelors in Horticulture degree from Tarleton State University for several years.
And now I can't find them.
Many people ask me why I don't hang my diplomas at the stores, in my office, or at least somewhere in my house where people can see them (so far they have hung behind doors or in closets). Trust me I am very proud of my degrees. If anyone had Dr. Harvey for Statistics (and I had her for both undergrad and grad courses) you definitely have a sense of pride for getting out of that class with any kind of passing grade.
I think college is important. I am glad I went. I learned a lot. I might even go back some day and get my PhD. I hope my daughter will go to college.
However, some of the smartest people I know (especially in the pecan industry) did not go to or did not finish college. Neither of my parents finished college and they are smart business minded individuals. In my opinion, while it never hurts to have a college degree I also don't feel that just because I have one or two means I am somehow smarter than others in the room.
You can ask any of my staff, close friends, or family, I can't spell to save my life and if I don't have a calculator or a phone handy my math is pretty iffy. My CPA has asked me several times if I slept through my accounting classes and other than knowing to take the lump sum if you win the lottery I am kind of clueless with finance issues.
All that being said I think the best thing college did teach me is the ability to study difficult and diverse topics until I could grasp them enough to understand them. It taught me to focus, manage my time, and be open to new ideas.
I was one of the people who knew at eighteen the "real world" was going to be too hard for me but also knew I couldn't stay in high school forever. College was a great way to spend four or five years transitioning from being a naïve teenager to being a naïve twenty year old. The real world still knocked me down a time or two when I got out in it after graduation but thanks to college and all that comes along with it (all night cram sessions, all night parties, college professors, college boys, college friends, boring 8am classes, bad lab partners, good roommates, terrible roommates, and so much more) I was a little tougher than when I arrived on campus.
My diplomas are important to me. It took a lot to get them but I have learned a lot since the day I walked across the stage. Some things you just can't learn in a classroom. Some things only life can teach you. Now if only life will tell me where I put those darn things I will be good!!
I have BBA and MBA in Business from Midwestern State University. I graduated with honors and made my parents very proud. So proud in fact it took them a while to actually give me my diplomas after they had them framed for me as a graduation gift. My diplomas hung in my parents house alongside my brothers Bachelors in Horticulture degree from Tarleton State University for several years.
And now I can't find them.
Many people ask me why I don't hang my diplomas at the stores, in my office, or at least somewhere in my house where people can see them (so far they have hung behind doors or in closets). Trust me I am very proud of my degrees. If anyone had Dr. Harvey for Statistics (and I had her for both undergrad and grad courses) you definitely have a sense of pride for getting out of that class with any kind of passing grade.
I think college is important. I am glad I went. I learned a lot. I might even go back some day and get my PhD. I hope my daughter will go to college.
However, some of the smartest people I know (especially in the pecan industry) did not go to or did not finish college. Neither of my parents finished college and they are smart business minded individuals. In my opinion, while it never hurts to have a college degree I also don't feel that just because I have one or two means I am somehow smarter than others in the room.
You can ask any of my staff, close friends, or family, I can't spell to save my life and if I don't have a calculator or a phone handy my math is pretty iffy. My CPA has asked me several times if I slept through my accounting classes and other than knowing to take the lump sum if you win the lottery I am kind of clueless with finance issues.
All that being said I think the best thing college did teach me is the ability to study difficult and diverse topics until I could grasp them enough to understand them. It taught me to focus, manage my time, and be open to new ideas.
I was one of the people who knew at eighteen the "real world" was going to be too hard for me but also knew I couldn't stay in high school forever. College was a great way to spend four or five years transitioning from being a naïve teenager to being a naïve twenty year old. The real world still knocked me down a time or two when I got out in it after graduation but thanks to college and all that comes along with it (all night cram sessions, all night parties, college professors, college boys, college friends, boring 8am classes, bad lab partners, good roommates, terrible roommates, and so much more) I was a little tougher than when I arrived on campus.
My diplomas are important to me. It took a lot to get them but I have learned a lot since the day I walked across the stage. Some things you just can't learn in a classroom. Some things only life can teach you. Now if only life will tell me where I put those darn things I will be good!!
You've Got Mail...
I have watched "You've Got Mail" probably over two hundred times at least. Every time it comes on the television when I am flipping through the channels I will stop and watch it to the end no matter how much is left in the show. I just have to see if Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly will get together in the end again.
I love this show. I love watching it. It makes me happy to sit and watch every minute of this movie. I love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I love books and movies about books. I love New York. I love hearing the old dial up sound (it takes me back to my teenage years). I simply love it all.
Except for when it is over and I realize I have wasted my time whether it be five minutes or two hours watching a movie I not only know by heart but also own on DVD thus could watch without commercials!!!
Why do we waste so much time on such silly things? It amazes me how much time I waste a day looking at Facebook, checking my email for the nineteenth time, scrolling through Pinterest, watching boring or pointless tv shows, and so on.
Even while typing this I have the tv on in the living room and tabs up on the computer screen for Facebook and my email. My ability to multitask yet still use my time poorly some days is quite amazing.
I have stacks of books in my room I have not read yet. I am signed up for Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership All Access in which there are endless amounts of lessons and eCoaching sessions to listen to. I have several apps on my phone for motivational podcasts.
Yet most days unless I am very disciplined I turn to the mind numbing activities. Why? Because it is easier to do those. Because the former ones rarely make me stretch my thoughts, heart, core values, or talents like the latter ones do. Because it is easy. Because it is a habit. Because it is an escape.
Staying in the now is sometimes hard. Working on paperwork, payroll reports, book chapters, job descriptions, food journals, laundry, sleep...can all be hard sometimes. But avoiding them does not make them go away. A distraction is only temporary and can't last forever. Like all good movies, they must come to an end.
Oh and in case you were wondering...Joe and Kathleen did get together again. Whew! Roll the credits.
I love this show. I love watching it. It makes me happy to sit and watch every minute of this movie. I love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I love books and movies about books. I love New York. I love hearing the old dial up sound (it takes me back to my teenage years). I simply love it all.
Except for when it is over and I realize I have wasted my time whether it be five minutes or two hours watching a movie I not only know by heart but also own on DVD thus could watch without commercials!!!
Why do we waste so much time on such silly things? It amazes me how much time I waste a day looking at Facebook, checking my email for the nineteenth time, scrolling through Pinterest, watching boring or pointless tv shows, and so on.
Even while typing this I have the tv on in the living room and tabs up on the computer screen for Facebook and my email. My ability to multitask yet still use my time poorly some days is quite amazing.
I have stacks of books in my room I have not read yet. I am signed up for Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership All Access in which there are endless amounts of lessons and eCoaching sessions to listen to. I have several apps on my phone for motivational podcasts.
Yet most days unless I am very disciplined I turn to the mind numbing activities. Why? Because it is easier to do those. Because the former ones rarely make me stretch my thoughts, heart, core values, or talents like the latter ones do. Because it is easy. Because it is a habit. Because it is an escape.
Staying in the now is sometimes hard. Working on paperwork, payroll reports, book chapters, job descriptions, food journals, laundry, sleep...can all be hard sometimes. But avoiding them does not make them go away. A distraction is only temporary and can't last forever. Like all good movies, they must come to an end.
Oh and in case you were wondering...Joe and Kathleen did get together again. Whew! Roll the credits.
Monday, July 4, 2016
You Can't Avoid Conflict...
I have never been a fan of boxing or wrestling or the Bachelor. I just don't like conflict.
However, the truth is we can't avoid conflict. Another truth is having conflict in your business or your personal life does not necessarily mean it is a bad thing. Some conflict is good. Certain types of conflict can lead to new ideas and growth.
The key with conflict is how well you "fight". Verbal abuse, arguing for the sake of arguing, close mindedness, immaturity, hate, anger, resentment, and other elements do not make a good fight. Having a mature adult conversation does.
Stating your facts in a calm, rational voice is key. Being open to hear what others say and how they feel is crucial. Making a decision based on what is good for the business, family, relationship, or community as a whole is vital (even if that means your choice is not the decision that was picked). You can't fight to win. You have to fight to be heard but then you have to look at all the options on the table and pick the best one...not just yours.
Once the decision has been made you need to let it go. You can't hold grudges When the bell rings or the final rose has been handed out the fight is over. Don't have a rematch or a reunion show to drag up all the old issues again...your goal is not to get ratings it is to get results.
However, the truth is we can't avoid conflict. Another truth is having conflict in your business or your personal life does not necessarily mean it is a bad thing. Some conflict is good. Certain types of conflict can lead to new ideas and growth.
The key with conflict is how well you "fight". Verbal abuse, arguing for the sake of arguing, close mindedness, immaturity, hate, anger, resentment, and other elements do not make a good fight. Having a mature adult conversation does.
Stating your facts in a calm, rational voice is key. Being open to hear what others say and how they feel is crucial. Making a decision based on what is good for the business, family, relationship, or community as a whole is vital (even if that means your choice is not the decision that was picked). You can't fight to win. You have to fight to be heard but then you have to look at all the options on the table and pick the best one...not just yours.
Once the decision has been made you need to let it go. You can't hold grudges When the bell rings or the final rose has been handed out the fight is over. Don't have a rematch or a reunion show to drag up all the old issues again...your goal is not to get ratings it is to get results.
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